I could eat green tea ice cream forever…almost makes up for the lack of sweet chai latte ice cream in the world :’(. I miss it.

Next investment: 50mm f/1.4 (even thinking about saving up for a f/1.2 is ridiculous, I’ve given up on that; anyway, price difference : speed difference ratio isn’t worth it—or so I’ll keep telling myself) and a ring light flash. The last part just clicked. So many photos make sense now. I’ve always known of them, but I don’t know why I never processed what they were? On the plus side, I have no built-in flash anymore so I will eventually need some sort of external unit…justification! Now to wait for the paycheck, haha.

Spring retreat is tomorrow! My sudden illness seems to suddenly be disappearing, too, which is a blessing and massive prayer answered. Now to finish reading part two of Worship Matters before I go to sleep.

Can’t believe my time in Delaware is almost up. The next two days will be a blur, then hopefully R is going to come down and visit from NJ so we can catch up/do DT/eat!, alongside a week of evening-time VBS photography, and then I’m back to California. I always have trouble dealing with feelings of nostalgia and rapid change, but two things:

1) Ecclesiastes 7:10: Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.

God, you know me too well. Finding that everything I read in the Old Testament is very timely and relevant. And Solomon, you are one wise dude.

and 2) J: “There will sure be a lot of changes next year.. but changes happen every year, and this is no surprise.. :P”

There are definitely benefits in always thinking super ahead, and in reminiscing, and in gauging the present to what was and what is to come, but ultimately, am I enjoying the blessings given to me at this moment? Since if I’m not cherishing all that’s being done for me now, all the unique vignettes of today and the people I’m with and memories currently being made, then I’m wasting a lot of beauty and preciousness that not everyone gets to experience. Need to get out of the noooo-everyone-is-leaving phase and appreciate the time I’ve had with them (and 99.9% of them aren’t actually leaving…).

Yeah, this is starting to sound like some sort of self-help blog. Maybe in certain ways it is. I dunno, amidst my mom persistently telling me that I shouldn’t stress out so much during future finals weeks (even though this stresses me out even more since I’m pretty scaredexcited for my Econ reqs next semester), and in the middle of this semi-transitional stage in my life, sooner than what I expected and wanted to deal with…maybe that’s what I need. I’m trusting in God’s grace to carry me, but as I am constantly being reminded, I need to do my part, too. And this doesn’t apply for just academics, which I often relate this God-me-working-together balance to, but also in that I need to find ways to calm myself down, too.

Yes, yes. Being still. Now for that ice cream and reading… :)