Hurrah: showered and done with my graphic design project! And somehow everything is already packed…so all that’s left to do is to send out a last email, import some photos from the past two days, and go to sleep.
And just a quick shout-out to my big brother—congratulations on your master’s degree! I will never admit this out loud, but since you creep on my Tumblr once in a while and the chances of you seeing this (and I kind of want you to see this, kind of not) is like 5%, I will say it: I am really proud of you, and I look up to you a lot. I’m really blessed to have an older sibling like you. I complain a lot about you being too smart and most days I don’t understand how you think (remember when your friend from Yale came over? You guys were just chatting very colloquially and even then I didn’t understand half the English that was being exchanged), but deep down, I really do love you. I’m glad we all get to go to China and spend some time together before you become a real, working adult (as you say, “contributor to society”).
And Stanford, thank you for treating my brother so well. There have been ups and downs, but today during general commencement, I was really touched by the energy and community and just overall, sheer brightness of everyone in the Stadium. I can’t imagine myself anywhere but Berkeley, but there is no doubt that Palo Alto is a place I love dearly and will miss visiting. Of all the colleges in the nation, you are the one I respect the most. There’s some unattainable quality about you that always strikes me with awe…the people you churn out are not corner-cutters, not second tier in the least. You are not a grade inflator, you don’t have that quintessential ivy background that helped pushed you into acknowledgement; you are hard work and dedication, innovation and cutting-edge in all senses of the word. I don’t admit this often either, but there is a part of me that never wanted, never wants to be a part of your community because it’s something sacred to me and I don’t think I would ever deserve it (nor could I deal with it if it ever happened, haha), but my dad nudged me today and said, “Grad school?”, and all I could think about is what a blessing that would be if it ever came down to it.
And God…you know my thanks. You are the source of all of this. All the blessing I feel, all the goodness in my life. Thank you for leading me thus far, and thank you for that promise of always being there in the future.
Next adventure: China. Laters, friends :)
Up at 9:30am, decided to skip a graduation in order to figure out Lightroom and get photos up for this evening’s banquet, showered and then ran off to Cafe Durant for lunch with CS, did some more photo editing at DL, trekked off to Wheeler/Greek Theatre for the Integrated Biology graduation, somehow got in even though the names had already been called, took more photos, whisked off to DL to do more photo editing and sorting, somehow managed to get to the banquet on Shattuck at 6pm, finished at 8pm, walked to First Presbyterian, joined the guys’ prayer meeting until 10pm, had a key scare with JL, walked home, and edited more photos, realized ALL MY COMPUTER SCIENCE GRADUATION PHOTOS ARE MISSING»>… …. …, had a minor breakdown, thought I recovered them with a file-finder program but actually didn’t, and am now very sad.
The pictures should be salvageable, having been originally saved on someone else’s laptop for the Sunday night banquet, but we’ll see…at this point, there’s nothing I can do and I don’t want to upload any more photos if they’ll be out of chronological order, and it’s 2am now anyway, so I guess it’s time to retire for the night.
I am really, really exhausted. But tonight’s prayer meeting was pretty timely. I did choose to be here for all the graduations, and I did learn how to use a camera in order to take photos, and I have nothing to complain about—I love being busy as opposed to feeling like nothing has been accomplished in 24 hours. So. Intentionally taking more risks, trying to grow out of my immaturity that is attention-seeking and people-pleasing to find personal satisfaction/acceptance/comfort, and promising to be more bold but a little less outspoken. This never used to be a problem, I think? Or it was very well hidden for all these years. Anyway, there are many things to work both away from and towards.
Night :) tomorrow should be a little less hectic, but…another 9am graduation awaits.